12/09/2004

what I see doesn't match what I learn

Day 1

There's a really nice looking man on the TV tonight. Mom says he's evil. The TV 'caster says he's letting "our guys" die. George down the block says his brother Nick lost his job and his girlfriend because of him.

I don't know about our guys or evil, but I know the girl Nick was hangin' with last year in school, she's a real skank and he's better off without her. Not sure about his job, though. Maybe it had something to do with his beer-and-a-whiff habit.

The man on the TV looks like I wish my Dad looked when he was here.

I go to school most days, when I can't think of anything better to do. Mom says I'll never amount to anything without graduating, but then I see the hard boys in their hard cars, and I know that isn't true. It all depends on what you're willin' to do. For now, I'm willin' to go to school. Most days.

I talked to a guy on the Web last night, all huffed to think he was connected with a hot chickie who could take him somewhere. I wish it was true.

As long as Mom doesn't care what I do, I'm just gonna throw the question out there. Is there anything real? Maybe we just wish our way into the good stuff, wish really hard and sharp with all the might there is. If I knew how, what would I really want to be true?

I'd like to be safe in bed somewhere else, somewhere outside the maze. Maybe the beloved daughter of that nice man on the TV.

I'm wishing.

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